Sunday, August 21, 2016

Change The Way You See Love

Everyone has there own definition of how they see love, and I know that every mom will understand what I am about to share. 

You know you are ready to be a mom, nature tells you so, however some things still become unexpected.

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My pregnancy with my second child was not something I wanted and I found out in August 2012 due to a hospital confinement for anemia, where an ultrasound to check for internal bleeding, confirmed it. I cried when I found out and I felt that the pregnancy would be more of a burden than a blessing. 

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I went through pregnancy with hardship and a lot of aches and pains, but that exact first time I laid eyes on my little boss, it changed how I felt. I realized now that this is what I actually wished for, being a mother to a boy and a girl. It was a dream come true.

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My little boss grew up as a happy baby, he was jolly, loved to dance and he was breastfed for a year and a half. 

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He rolled over at 3 months, crawled before 6 months, stood up on his 7 month and walked before his first year and I felt triumphant because then I said to myself "Wow, he is learning quick and in advance." My expectations were set.

Then turning two, the mile stones stopped and he wasn't babbling like a two year old should. He never would seem to look at me whenever I called his name, he was mostly quiet and unattached to everyone in the family.

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When I was told that he might be Autistic, I denied it high and low, knowing that it would be impossible and I refused to have a kid who had a learning disability. For a year I kept thinking, maybe it's a delay - just like his cousin who started talking at 5, and probably people just like telling you these things to assume.

But then there were other things and then this photo made me realize that it was something more. He started lining and stacking up toys almost everyday. He would get upset if they fell down or became unaligned. He found happiness in playing with a light switch and failed to recognize danger from jumping from chairs and the bed.

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I finally gave in, I told myself if I persisted to deny, he would suffer in the long run. You can never accept something unless you learn to love it. I did just that. I stopped blaming myself and questioning my ability as a mother and started to look forward on what I could do to help him.

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We have now fully accepted that my little boss is on the Autism Spectrum. I finally told myself that I can love him as he is and the disability that he has. 

Loving a little boy on the Autism Spectrum is no easy task and you eagerly wait for some spur of the moment improvement, when that moment comes you want to make sure you capture it to remind you that he is improving. These moments are so important to remind me that loving and accepting his condition only shows that I can now love myself as a mother too. I capture them in black and white to remind me how I felt rather than what it looks like but not all camera phone's can take great monochrome photos.

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He loves to draw during quiet time

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He loves to listen to nursery rhymes
You need to have a a great mobile phone camera to quickly grab and capture that beautiful moment and the Huawei P9 can change the way you see mobile photography. Because the Huawei P9's camera is co-engineered with Leica, it's dual lenses produce high quality photos.  With the dual 12 megapixel back camera's the Huawei P9 can allow me to capture amazing moments with my little boss in high quality and in my favorite monochrome tone, also in slow-mo, colored, light painting photos among others. Plus, since it has an 8 megapixel front camera, we will get better selfie shots even in low light. 


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When in the mood, he'll allow a happy selfie
My life has been changed to to love each aspect of my son. It's hard to love a condition that is surrounded by challenges but  by accepting I have changed the way I see loving my boy who has ASD (Austism Spectrum Disorder).

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Change the way you see love even if it's not perfect. We often see un-perfect things with regret or sadness but if you see it in the different light you will also change the way you see love.


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31 comments:

  1. Hugs sis for you and for your little one. I feel every pain, happiness and even then progress or achievement that you have during this times. Not a lot of people can accept and understand our situation, but that won't stop us from giving endless love to our children. Keep your faith and we are here to give you support and love that your family needs. Love love, Mommy Heart 💞

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  2. Our kids with ASD teach us so many things but the most important of all those lessons is to love unconditionally. Our genuine love for them makes them soar high and reach their full potential. No matter what other people say, it is our pure love that keeps them stay who they are, without inhibitions and pretentions. Our faith in them makes them confident to face the world despite its cruelty. We are indeed very blessed to have our kids with special needs. They give us unconditional love in return.

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    1. I absolutely agree with you sis. Love needs to be unconditional with ASD Angels.

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  3. Hugs and prayers to you and yout son! Have faith that in time, everything will be better.

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  4. Your son is lucky to have you because he has a mom who accepted his condition and will do anything to make his lives better. I agree, change the way you see love.

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  5. You are a super mom! Thanks for sharing your blog, and all the best for us and our special kiddos. God bless! :)

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  6. I can relate to what you felt when you knew your were pregnant with your son, I felt that too when I found out I was pregnant with my little girl. I felt guilty right after when I saw her father so happy that we'll be having a little one. Told myself it was a blessing. :) God bless to you, your son and the whole fam. :) Love the last photo of you and your son btw ;)

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    1. Hi Coi, I thought I would be the only one to feel that way, so thank you. :)

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  7. I admire your strength. If I was in the same situation I don't know what I'd do.

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  8. Awww I can just imagine how you must have felt about his diagnosis when you first confirmed it. I probably would be in denial at first too. But good to know you got over that and have learned to see and love your son for the amazing boy that he is. :)

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  9. You are one tough Mama! I just can't imagine the hardships you and the little boss need to endure. But we have a good God who will go with you along the way. You have a beautiful son. Keep trusting and keep loving.

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  10. God bless you and your family. Stay strong. God will never leave those who cling to Him. Your son is very lucky to have you as his mom. Know that!

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  11. I agree, if you see imperfect things in a positive light, you'll learn to accept and love them. Prayers to you and your little boy!

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  12. You are a great mother. For me Autism is not dissabity I think they were born to be unique and talented.
    I know some lovely child despite that they are diagnosed with Autism this lovely child have a very special talent in drawing.
    Being a mother, accepting the fact that we are already mother change how we really see things. Sometimes or should I say they were times that we are in denialbut a mothers love and instinct always win.
    I really love reading this post MamaNee.
    I know that your little boss will grow up to be a a very sweet and greatone.
    Hugs for you and to your little boss. Both of you as a mom and a.child did an awesome thing.

    XOXO Lhourdes Mercadero

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  13. Awww, I'm sure you two are supremely awesome! Your son is so blessed to have you as his mama. Btw, can't stop looking at your last picture. It's so sweet!

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  14. I, too have a special child. I know the feeling but happy to know that you have finally "seen" what needs to be. Because only then will you be able to help your child every possible way you can. Stay strong :)

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  15. Beautiful post. God bless you and your son more. Monochrome photos seem a lot more dramatic and mysterious too, noh? Great shots :)

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  16. I have 3 girls and a boy. When my boy turned 4, I thought he was different, I started asking around and read tons of information about autism. He's always hyperactive and easily gets distracted. Turned out boys are just like that. :) Cheers, Marie for embracing everything about your little boss for braving all life challenges and staying beautiful and always positive. :) You are awesome! :)

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  17. Hugs and kisses! You are an amazing mom! My little girl is facing some challenges too and it took me a while to finally accept that. We learn as we go along and I don't think God will give us what we can't handle. <3

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  18. Hi Mamanee! Your son is indeed God's special blessing! He's also very blessed to have a mom like you :) The last photo tells it all :)

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  19. If there is anything that I am thankful for, it's that the perception on Autism has changed broadly. We are now more aware of what it actually means and we can help our children rise above their weaknesses. Hugs, mommy Marie.

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  20. Hugs to you. The little man is such lucky to have you as his family and having him as part of your live is equally beautiful. Together, you will face life - hardship and obstacles may be there but as you've mentioned, love will always seal that difficulties.

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  21. Awwww.. Hugs.. I salute you for being brave enough to love and be positive. Your son is a blessing from God that you are able to love more.

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  22. Glad that these days, we have pediatricians that can discuss and help kids with ASD. I'm a mom too and I believe that having a child is a great blessing from God. We will do anything for our kids to stay them healthy and happy. Hugs to you dear. God bless your family.

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  23. Goosebumps po ha.. Well everything happened for a reasons but most of all, God was all there, you have faith, hope, trust and you're a strong woman naman po Mamanee.. Children are all Angels that God sent to us!

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  24. A heart-warming piece! Motherhood in itself is a challenge and I can only imagine how difficult it would be for mums whose children have equally challenging conditions. But you are right, I guess it is only a matter of perspective and this condition is but another reason to love your angel even more. Hugs to you both!

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  25. Children born with autism nowadays are lucky as compared to those born 20 years ago when autism is synonymous with being not right in the brain. And your son is lucky because he has a family who accepts him and guide him.

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