My Anxiety Disorder Diary | How I Am Coping With This CoVid-19 Pandemic and Quarantine

The most feared word in this time is CoVid-19. Everyone cringes when they hear this and no-one could have predicted that the entire world would be at halt or that we would see major cities like ghost towns. The pandemic and quarantine has affected millions and every family has experienced loss in every way.

I would like to share how this situation has affected our mental disability and what we are doing to move forward.

Thinking forward despite the challenges


What is it like for us during this pandemic and quarantine?

It was March 12, when we heard the buzz about Metro Manila being placed under quarantine and I felt myself going into a panic. Then, the news dropped with the entire Metro Manila being placed under quarantine effective March 16 - this is when I felt my world start to close around me.  

“This is not good...” 

I felt a panic attack rising; I called my mom in Laguna wanting to leave Metro Manila with my family and we created a plan where we could stay. Even though I was working in a corporate office, I knew I could get the go-signal to work at home.  


I was on survival mode, all I cared about was my family and myself, that’s what an anxiety disorder does. I was diagnosed with an Anxiety Disorder with panic attacks and it’s been more than a year since I have been suffering this mental condition. This quarantine heightened all my fears. To add, my husband has been diagnosed with depression – so you can imagine how this would be such a slap to our existence as human beings.  

Then came March 15, it was the last day that we could have the chance to flee Metro Manila and to get away from being imprisoned in our city. My husband and I talked then decided to stay. We thought about my mum who is a senior citizen and we did not want to jeopardize her health. My husband assured me (as well as my panic disorder) that we would be fine.  

We watched in horror on the news how people were hoarding (I still cannot get why people need so much toilet tissue) and how we felt that me may run out of basic needs. But, we kept our calm, read from the legitimate resources on how this quarantine would affect our day-to-day life and we stocked on what we needed to get us by in two weeks.  

Our company converted employees to work at home and I had to stay up for 20 hours a day for a week to help out. We needed to explain to our daughter, why we needed to stay home and we tried as much as we could to help both children adjust. Our son has Autism and he loved the outdoors, but we were grateful that he seemed to understand.  

Our situation has not been perfect and has brought around a lot of stress, it has also been financially draining and I live constantly in fear our health and for my children who are young.  

Here is a list of things I worry about and what brings around my anxiety attacks:   

Worry 1: How long will we be in this state? Why does it feel like a zombie apocalypse? 
Worry 2: What if my husband gets tired of my face, since he is used to not having me around? 
Worry 3: What if we need to go to the ER (heaven forbid), is it worth the risk?  
Worry 4: What about my team at work, who no longer sees my face, will they still see value in me as their leader?  
Worry 5: We worry about the future of our kids, especially with schooling. 


How am I getting through this situation?

Taking all of those worries and channeling it to creating a solution, was what I did to make sure I could focus on what was in front of me versus just worrying. At least it was now worrying with a possible solution. Yey! 

We accepted the situation of our city and placed faith in our Barangay officials, we followed what was required: wear face masks all the time, never bring the kids out, follow social distancing and follow the curfew. I started creating face shields for front liners in need.  

My husband and I talked about the change in our situation and how it will affect us, we had not been stuck in one place for more than 5 days (with the exception of being sick) in the last 7 years. We knew that we needed to work on getting used to this new normal, so we sort of set personal boundaries, because every couple deserves some literal alone time.  

We stocked up on Vitamin C and made sure everyone had vitamins every day to try our best to strengthen our immune system as well as to practice washing of hands at all times. We used our roof deck for early morning sun baths and for afternoons play time, so that they can still get to enjoy the outdoors as well as, get a breath of fresh air. 

I geared up to start working at home, bought a computer table, a gaming chair (for comfort), an extra monitor and coffee - Coffee is a need, hold on - it’s a requirement, to get you in that groove to work with screaming kids situated in a place that constantly seduces you to sleep. I set up video calls with my team, made sure if they needed me that I would respond as soon as I could and I also was very transparent with what was going on with the company and listened to their fears.  

Recently, I joined a group mainly for teachers, that opened up for the public, where I could get resources for my kids learning, we did enroll them to public school (where my daughter has been going for the past 2 years), but since there is a delay with the start of the school year, I’ve been relying on online resources to give them pocket lessons daily – salute to all teachers that can keep up with teaching kids like mine! 

The kids doing activities I printed coming from the Facebook Group


My husband and I revived our small online business of home baked cookies and decided to open an online bills payment store in our Barangay. Not only do we earn extra, but we constantly get thanked by our customers who no longer need to walk far to get to pay a bill or send money to their loved ones. We have such a small budget but gratefully we are able to keep up. 

My husband and I have finally opened up a small business (that little boy in the background is our inspiration)

The business helped us both mentally and as I also was able to seek online therapy from a free institution – we constantly communicate about our mental and emotional condition.  

We have made so many adjustments from what we were used to and we just really went with accepting the situation instead of complaining and focusing on the fear.  

What has life taught me being in this quarantine and experiencing this pandemic?

My husband and I have learned so much from being in quarantine; about ourselves, our relationship, our kids and our future. I see that in general, most have focused on bad things that have been brought about his pandemic and locking down an entire region - that’s how we felt at first. We are not rich and we get by only by what I earn from my corporate job, but out of this because I am home more, I spend less.  

This situation has taught me to appreciate these small things:  
  • the convenience of ordering food and goods at home where riders deliver your food no matter the weather, but there are still people who decide to prank these hard workers 

  • the cashier in the supermarket who painstakingly stands all day while serving customer while customers complain about the long lines 

  • Fast food outlets who still do their best to provide us a hot meal when you are too lazy to cook  

  • Messaging apps where we can still connect with people who matter 


I have now seen the value of the things we usually take for granted:  
  • Visiting family members in the next city
  • Hugging friends when they have a bad day
  • Riding a bike with the breeze against your face
  • Taking a walk in the early morning when you sniff that fresh breeze 
  • Chatting with your friend at a coffee shop  
  • Going to the market and taking your time 
  • Taking kids for walk to the local park and seeing them run around 

 A few of the things I miss

We will not get to go back to these anytime soon and we could be stuck in this new normal for a while, but at least it is something to look forward to.  

What makes me move forward? 

Hope, faith and trust. I place hope that we all will recover from this pandemic knowing how many lives have been affected from street vendors, even to those that have been working in companies that are large scale but cannot work on an online set up.  

I have faith by praying for everyone, for my neighbors, our city, our leaders - that we get the guidance and protection that we need to be able to cope with what is now a new normal for everyone.  

I trust in what is available to me, and what can be done with placing the city on quarantine. Trusting what we need to do to make this situation better.  

We all our experiencing and living through this pandemic and quarantine differently, not all of us have the resources to gracefully get by but I believe that every human has resilience and will. Let us try to make the best out of what we have, let’s not focus on what we do not have. Start small, and move forward gradually - nothing has to be big when you start.  

I want to share a Facebook Live video that my husband and I aired, where we talked about how this pandemic has affected everyone and I hope you can relate too.



Now, please consider this and share with us if you will, if you could start something small today to make a difference with your situation – what would that be? We would love to hear from you.  

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This story is an entry to ComCo Southeast Asia’s “Write to Ignite Blogging Project”. The initiative is a response to the need of our times, as every story comes a long way during this period of crisis. Igniting and championing the human spirit, “Write to Ignite Blog Project” aims to pull and collate powerful stories from the Philippine blogging communities to inspire the nation to rise and move forward amidst the difficult situation. This project is made possible by ComCo Southeast Asia, co-presented by Eastern Communications and sponsored by Electrolux, Jobstreet and Teleperformance. 




8 comments

  1. Nagworry din po ako nung time nag-ecq. Pareho kami ni husband jobless at walang ipon at baon pa sa utang. Pero may hinihintay kami na pera. Akala nga namin babayaran na sina husband nung march ibebenta na po kasi yung company pero until now wala pa. May nagpahiram sa amin ng pera panggastos at yung iba pampuhunan sa small food business namin. Kung tutuusin di rin nito kayang tustusan ang lahat ng needs namin. Kaya ang lahat ng bagay idinadaan na lang namin sa dasal.

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    1. That's great na you were able to put up a small business. I like to count the small earnings that we have from our new business, I am grateful na kahit papaano may pumapasok :)

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  2. This is the first time that I am sharing this. Simula nang mag-CQ tayo, I allot at least one hour everyday just to chat with a friend or a stranger who is fighting depression or anxiety, person na nawawalan ng pag-asa due to the pandemic, or frontliner na sobrang pagod na. Biro nga sa akin ni Paps kapag gumagabi na, "May kliyente ka ba ngayon? " This is simple way to help those people to move forward and see the light in this time of darkness and despair. I always pray na bago ako sumalang sa chat na bigyan ako ni Lord ng lakas para hindi ako magkaroon ng countertransference kasi madali akong maapektuhan emotionally. Buti nakakaya ko naman at ang nakawawala ng pagod ay kapag bumabalik sila sa chat at sinasabing, "Thank you. Salamat sa pagbibigay ng oras. Salamat sa paghahawa mo sa akin ng optimism mo."

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    1. This is such an inspiring story, there should be more like you.

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  3. I guess being an optimistic person helps, somehow I don't worry too much, just focusing on what we can do about it amidst this crisis. I also have a son on the spectrum and I'm glad he readily accepted that going out won't be a part anymore of our daily life. Baking also keeps me sane, thankfully I can still get orders from time to time.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for inspiring. God bless po.❤️

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    1. Thank you Cecile and hello fellow Autism Mom! Stay strong!

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  4. Hope, faith, trust isama na rin ang love. Yan ang mga pinanghahawakan ko ngayon para patuloy na ipagpatuloy ang buhay. Inaabot din ako ng takot madalas pero dasal lang. We will all get by.

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